Dear Husband,
You thought I was too good for you, that we were “unequally yoked” because we’re so different, so you got into yet another ungodly sexual relationship with yet another broken person. And when you finally told me your version of events (because it had been going on for some time already), my heart broke, and I retreated to my parents’ to break down and fast and pray and worship and sob in my room there. At the end of that time, I decided I could no longer speak to you, and months passed by in complete silence on my part and a few random texts on yours.
Except that was 15 years ago, not today, and at that point, the relationship in question was your last college girlfriend before getting engaged to me, not a sexual addiction consisting of porn, numerous one-night stands, and a current mistress of 2 years. And now, it’s a marriage covenant with me and God, and 2 amazing kids, and everything we were building, that you are walking, no, RUNNING, away from.
And my heart breaks again.
And I’m back at my parents’ house again.
In the exact same room again, except now it’s my dad’s office, and I practically live here, once more fasting and praying and worshipping and sobbing.
And I can’t talk to you.
You want to act like nothing has changed, like you’re free to text me for cold medicine remedies or ask where something you can’t find is in the house, like I’m still your wife or friend. BUT YOU’RE NOT MY FRIEND!
I don’t know if you ever were. Actions speak louder than words, right? This isn’t one of those mutual, amicable decisions to end a relationship. This is pure betrayal, and it’s been going on for 14 years.
Last time, I got over my feelings for you, and after a year apart, decided to talk to you again, because I believed so strongly in your future and wanted to witness what God was going to do in your life, even if it wasn’t as your wife. I don’t know if I can reach that same conclusion this time around.
